Reply to DD experienced racism in the classroom. How to handle.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As an AA mother who's about to send my DC off to college, I'm torn.

My knee-jerk reaction? You and your daughter need to get a grip! She's in COLLEGE now and considered an adult. She should not be reporting that she got her feelings hurt by an insensitive comment to Mommy. And Mommy should not be pulling the "MY daughter! My dime!" foolishness that doesn't even go over well when our kids are in HS.

Now might be a good time for DD to learn/DM to teach that the world is filled with crass people who make crass, rude comments that you won't like. Your choices are to:1) GROW UP AND DEAL! Perhaps (learn to) give a snappy comeback and keep it moving. (Angered to the point of shaking????) OR 2)GET A THICKER SKIN.

What happens when she's on the public bus or walking down the street and someone makes a racist comment. Who's she going to report it to?

Then 10% of me thinks Yeah, it's bad enough you'll have to face jerks and their comments in the real world but such comments have no place in certain settings: school, workplace, etc.

I'm going to go with the 90% of me that thinks  DD needs to learn to deal and self-advocate. This could mean talking to the professor directly and calling him out on his behavior. Or perhaps even going into the next class--much calmer--raise her hand and say, "I'd just like to address that comment that was made yesterday about black men...I found the comment to be....(fill in the blank)".

Is she going to transfer a 2nd time WHEN (not "if") she hears another unkind remark?[/quote]

Are you kidding me? Of course people should try to complain or raise awareness when others make racist comments!! Otherwise nothing will change. The question is, how should op do this without it hurting her?

I am a white liberal who likes to consider myself not racist. That said, I've said stuff that I've later learned through racial sensitivity workshops or convos I shouldn't have said. Like asking questions about  African Americans' hair or something. If I said something or reacted in a way others found offensive and I was a teacher, I think I'd prefer the student tell me so I could change. Maybe do it in a way that is not angry. Like in an email, or go to office hours, and say, "I just want you to be aware that I found the comments and subsequent laughter in class (describe incident) to be disturbing, offensive, and racist. Allowing such comments and behaviors creates a poor learning environment for minority students and also sends a message to white students that such behavior is acceptable, when it is not."

The question is, should she wait till her grade is in to do this, or do it now? I'm not sure.[/quote]

Exactly. I agree with all of this (except I'm not white).

This PP's suggestions are good. To suggest that the OP's daughter should just deal with this is ridiculous. In one of my English classes, a classroom discussion led to the mocking a certain religion. I'm not religious, but found the discussion and subsequent laughter offensive. I sent an email to the professor about it afterward and the topic was addressed in class.[/quote]

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