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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have only one but I know it was a wrong choice for me. He is not that young, is in part time preschool, I stay home, and still. I wish I could put him in full time daycare. But I don't think it would really help.
My life has changed and it will take so much effort to put it back on track somewhat. I am so mad at my son when he starts whining or tantruming, I have to go to another room and cuss at him in private. There are moments I hate him, and moments when I despise him. I so hope he never guesses how I feel :( 
I do hope I can get a full time job soon, maybe that will help. [/quote]

I bet it will. Some women are not cut out to be hands-on mothers.  Hire as much help as you need. [/quote]

I am on a visa that does not allow me to work. It might take a year or two to change. I cannot really justify five mornings a week preschool - and I am not sure it will help (as I went from no help to 3 mornings a week and I still feel it is not enough).
Most of the time I am ok, not feeling unhappy, but sometimes- on a rare occasion when DS wakes up at night and would not go back to sleep, or when he wakes up super early, and I am sleep deprived- I feel this quiet, numb desperation...I don't know how to describe it. It's like I am stuck and there is no way out. My H turned out to be a disappointment to me, but I am stuck with him for a while, so this also adds up. I just need to wait it out for a couple years and maybe I can change my life after that. But then, the kid won't go away :) so I don't know. [/quote]

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