Reply to Getting serious with BF but can't stand his family

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think it all depends on how the boyfriend reacts to his family.  What does he tell your sister about them?  How does he want to connect with them as his life progresses?  Does he recognize the truth about them?

Does he just ignore the bad, and accept the good?  Is that possible long term?  What happens when kids come in the picture?

honestly, as someone who has a difficult inlaw family, I'm not sure she should move forward without professional help - a good counselor will help tease out these issues.  It was a counselor who helped my husband understand the [b]difference between family of origin and new family we were creating[/b].  [/quote]

That's interesting because our counselor took a different tact. She made us understand that while there is a difference between family of origin and the new family, they were not mutually exclusive.  In our case, it was DH who wanted to "cut off" my family.  She made us understand, that absent abuse or dysfunction, a loving and positive relationship with extended family was healthier for the smaller family unit.  [/quote]

Not to derail but PP, why would your DH want to "cut off" your family if there [i]was so abuse[/i] or dysfunction and the relationship with your family was completely loving and positive? It just seems odd that DH would want nothing to do with them if it were all rainbows and butterflies.   [/quote]

^ if there "were no abuse or dysfunction"

sorry for the typos[/quote]

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