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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why do you lie about or hide it? Why don't you just tell you significant other that you met someone else and want a relationship with them [b]before you crush someone forever[/b]? Even if your significant other will never find out, why not just be honest and end the relationship with your SO before cheating?  I am asking sincerely and honestly want to know what your reason of thinking or lack thereof may be. Thank you. [/quote]

You are making one big leap.  Divorce - or breaking up- is crushing anyways.  In my view, you are saying that the options are break up b/c of affair or stay married.  It is a false choice.  If my DH said to me "I am having a affair, I want out," it would impact me that same as if he said "I am not seeing anyone but this is not working for me-I want out."  It is the 'I want out" that would throw me - it does not matter why.  How would you feel if DH said "I am not seeing anyone but we are sexually incombatible.  I want out so that I can get my needs met without guilt."  Would that make you feel better?

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OP here. I am sure divorce is hard anyway you look at it whether it involves adultery or not. So yes, it would make it sting a bit less if we talked about divorcing prior to him screwing someone behind my back. We could both be mature about it and if we wanted out, discuss it and get out. Then go screw who you want when you want with or without having relationships with them (pp). Maybe I didn't feel like we were sexually compatible as well, who knows. My point is why not just get some balls and say I'm not happy, I want out? Why lie and screw around behind someone's back? At least get separated.

For the record, not that it matters, my dh is not screwing around that I know of. I am just aghast at all of the affair posts and want to know why? Why are people so incredibly selfish? [/quote]

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