Reply to dating someone who is separated

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, let me give it to you from the other side of the equation.  When I was single, I met a woman who had been divorced, let alone separated, for about seven months.  Very nice, well dressed, well put together, etc.  She was still mourning the loss of her marriage and trying to figure out her role in the breakup.

I basically told her that seeing each other didn't make sense because she was still in a state of flux.  For ANY human being, it takes TIME to get over a failed marriage.  So my question is, [b]isn't there anybody else out there who is single, interested in meeting someone, and has their act together that you can get to know?[/b]  [/quote]

You say that like you think that all people are 100% the same and totally interchangeable. Maybe this guy has qualities that the OP likes that she hasn't been able to find in other places. I don't understand what is so hard about accepting that the person matters, not just the person's situation.[/quote]

It is the person who matters, but you seem to want to believe that a person is not responsible for that own person's situation.   That's just wishful thinking.  The situation is a separated guy with two children.   Are you saying he had nothing to do with that "situation"?

Oh yeah is wife must have been 100% responsible for the breakup.  I'll bet she posts here at DCUM too.[/quote]

Not that poster, but I don't she's saying people assume one partner is fault-free. Nobody is perfect. Married people are not somehow better humans than unmarried people. Unmarried people are not by definition damaged goods. There is a wide range of strengths and flaws among everyone. You and me included.

Some here are just trying to point out that a separated person, solely by virtue of that status, shouldn't be seen as not worth dating in any meaningful way. Get to know each individual. Be wary, of course, just like you should be dating anyone out of a recent break-up.ut don't ditch them just because of a label.

[/quote]

PP here. That's exactly what I was trying to say. I completely understand if for some people "separated but not yet divorced" is 100% a dealbreaker 100% of the time. That's okay. Everyone has their own criteria. I was simply saying that maybe for the OP, the personality of the guy, the chemistry between them, and other things specific to their relationship outweigh the issue of whether or not his divorce is finalized.

The angry PP doesn't approve of divorce. Or women. Or dating.[/quote]

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