Reply to Why do people get so up in arms about something that doesn't impact them? Vent about mom

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[quote=Anonymous]Weddings can bring out he worst insecurities in people, most of all, mothers and daughters. I don't know why. 
I don't agree with the above PP about victim blaming. I think if the OP wants to share her excitement over a wedding decision, she is smart to share it with someone who will support it and share her enthusiasm. Nothing wrong with trying mom first, but sounds like mom may not be that person right now.

My mother wasn't dissimilar to me when I got married seven years ago. I think she was projecting her loss of control over me by poo-pooing some of my decisions. (Not to defend your mother, but try to see her point of view.) I know my mother-in-law was definitely projecting. To this day she brings up her unhappiness about what she didn't get at my wedding (as though I care at this point!)
My mother died right before my third wedding anniversary and I think of her often around that time. The relationship between mother and daughter can be complicated. My advice (unsolicited) is to 1) make a wedding you are happy with 2) try to savor and enjoy the good parts of your relationship with your mother, considering she may have some complicated feelings over her daughter getting married. One day she won't be alive to share those with, so try to be good to one another now. (Eek, now I'm projecting a bit.)

PS - congratulations on getting married!![/quote]

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