Reply to If you are a physician and married to a non-physician....

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "If you are a physician and married to a non-physician...."

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Are you unsympathetic to their needs?

I'm a critical care/ICU doctor and sometimes, I can't bear what a big deal my DH makes out of small problems. It drives me bananas. Just want to know if I'm alone.[/quote]

I am not married to a doctor, but I have many family members who are doctors.

Unlike most women, in the dating world I consider being a doctor a negative. I think becoming a doctor tends to turn MOST people into unsympathetic, arrogant, smug jerks. I might consider people who go into rheumatology, sleep medicine, and other fields like that. But generally, doctors tend to have empathy deficits.

And, since most went straight through school, they are often ignorant as to how it is to work in most office jobs. They have no understanding for what it is like to struggle to apply for jobs, promotions, stay employed, etc. they are very secure in their own jobs and feel smug about it and really tend to look down on people who struggle in their careers because they can't relate to that.[/quote]

I, too, have many family members who are doctors, and I could not agree more![/quote]

I am a non-physician (and a man) married to a surgeon...and yes, I concur too.

MDs tend to go through life after being accepted to Med school having the notion that they are a special chosen class of people constantly reinforced, with an army of little people whose job it is to go through life sweeping and smoothing the path in front of them.  They do work their asses off to get into med school, an increasingly competitive game among grade mongers.  And they truly work their asses off in residency where they spend a lot of time as subservient slave labor to attendings and other senior MDs, with the expectation that they get to turn it around when they finish.  I was a hard science major in college and avoided the pre-meds like the plague for this reason, but still got stuck tutoring and carrying a couple of chowder head premed lab partners through Organic and Biology (the latter worried me frankly).  These experiences combine to further isolate them from "the real world" and cement their self-perception as a special class of people.

I was warned by a professional therapist before I got engaged that I should be prepared to deal with the consequences of this and go into it with eyes wide open, and it was excellent advice.  Not being impressed by my MD spouse as a deity (and willing to challenge her "authority" on a scientific basis) actually probably helped me be more attractive to her; without that I probably wouldn't have garnered enough respect to be attractive.  But you have to remember that these folks often don't have to deal with the same shit the rest of us do - they have nurses and PAs and office staff...lots of little people to take care of the hassles...and cut them some slack for having a little bit of a tin ear.

In all fairness to the OP, one of my wife's partners is married to a slightly nutty/unstable SAHM who doesn't seem to be able to manage even the smallest problems, so I can see that too - and really that's a problem that has nothing to do with being a doctor or in a 'mixed medical marriage'.  I haven't read the whole thread so perhaps the OP has elaborated with examples.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics