Reply to If your teen is bi, should you let him/her have same gender sleepovers?

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Reply to "If your teen is bi, should you let him/her have same gender sleepovers?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Goodness. It seems to me that if you didn't allow your daughter to have sleepovers because she believed she was bisexual, you would in fact be punishing her for telling you she is bisexual. Is that the message you want to send?[/quote]

Of course that's not the message I would want to send.  But the situation is what it is.  If she is bi-sexual, I would have to look at the girls that she hangs around with as potential sexual partners, the same way I would with boys. [/quote]

OP, look at what you're doing. You're denying her a basic experience of the tween and teen years -- sleepovers -- because you're afraid she'll have sex with the girls she invites over. As a PP noted, just because a girl is gay doesn't mean she'll have sex with every girl she encounters. I'm sorry, but it seems punitive to me. I suspect you are not at all okay with this.[/quote]

It is no more or less punitive than a straight girl not being allowed to have a straight boy sleep over. What applies to straight should apply to gay and to bi. So if you would tell your straight 13 yr old Sally that sure straight Johnny can sleep over in her bed/room then you should allow to same for bi Sally to have bi or straight johnny or bi or lesbian Jane in her bed/room. And if you don't agree with one, then you don't agree with the other.[/quote]

I disagree that it's the same thing. Regardless of sexual orientation, same-sex friendships are essential to kids, and sleepovers are a typical activity for kids this age. You are setting up a barrier to friendship based on the belief that your child is going to have sex with any girl she is friends with.

Now if she has a girlfriend and asks to have a sleepover with her, of course I would say no to that. (That, by the way, is the situation Dan Savage was referring to - a 14 YO gay boy and his slightly older boyfriend.) But that's not what you're asking about, is it? And you're not even asking about other bisexual or lesbian girls, right? You're talking about friends. Are you going to keep her home from slumber parties too?[/quote]

No I am not under the belief that my daughter will have sex with any girls she is friends with, just like I am not under the belief that she will have sex with any boy she is friends with. I don't allow her to have sleepovers with boys as long as they aren't her boyfriend either.[/quote]

If you don't think she'll have sex with any girl she's friends with, I would think you'd let her have sleepovers as long as they're not with her girlfriend. And are you going to let her attend slumber parties? [/quote]

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