Reply to Wisdom from Moms of Older Kids- When is the right time?

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[quote=Anonymous]If you can, I would suggest part time, or be able to work from home in the afternoon.  Being home when the kids got home during MS and HS helped/helps.  I do not have a typical experience as both my children have special needs (LDs and mild ASD) and have needed more parenting than a neuro-typical child.  Being available is key, it is not like when they are 4 and 7, when they needed more direct supervision.  You can set yourself up to work while they get their homework done and (for me) be available to help if needed.

In my personal experience, I think there are four 15 minutes a day that are touch stones and help maintain open dialog and relationship with my teenagers.

1)The fifteen minutes in the morning (right before they leave for the bus) when we are getting ready for the day (eating our breakfasts, looking up the weather, making lunches,  the dog, packing up for the bus).  Different topics come up at this time that don't get mentioned at other times ("mom, I forgot- you need to sign this......")

2) The fifteen minutes when they get home and down load about their day while scrounging for a snack.  9 times out of ten it is mono-sylabic, but on that tenth day...... (How was your test in science?   "fine")

3)The fifteen minutes at dinner when we are all at the table (I really try to make it last 20+ minutes- but it really doesn't)  THis is where things come out about what is on their mind.

4) The fifteen minutes before they go to bed.  Different topics come up at that point.  Again, not every day- but when they do, it is usually important for them.

The odd times are usually when we are in the car driving somewhere.

If your current job is not very flexible or doesn't lend itself to reduced hours or working from home, perhaps now is the time to find one that is more flexible.  I have been home for a while now since that is what works for our family and there is more to do during the day relating to our DC's issues (IEPs are time sinks), BUT working very reduced hours in MS and HS would have been a viable option- if it had been an option.  It would have reduced some of the downsides to SAH.

Do what works for your family.  Both you and your spouse need to agree to it.  Look short term and long term.  If you would feel vulnerable if you quit your job to sah, have a formal agreement set up between you and your spouse - it can be very simple.  [/quote]

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