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[quote=Anonymous]Wow, sounds just like my mother! She's 70 and half the time I don't know I've upset her until months/years later when she berates me by email - never verbally and never at the time of the incident (which I am usually blissfully unaware of).  When my children were babies, she would come to stay and spend half her time in the bedroom reading books - I would definitely get the feeling that something was wrong but when I questioned her, she would make some lame excuse for staying in the bedroom, it used to drive me crazy - why fly all that way to spend time with us and then ignore us?!!!  We had a huge blow-up 7 months ago after she told me she was disappointed and upset that I had not shown enough enthusiasm for her birthday plans (!!!), so I told her what I thought of her behaviour and I am still paying for it.  I try to be unfailingly polite and upbeat, try really hard not to get angry (very difficult at times), but nothing works.  She appears to have now disconnected her email and has not rung me in weeks (we were taking turns calling each other), I am pretty sure she is escalating her passive-aggressive tactics to get a reaction from me, but I refuse to participate.  I feel like I am dealing with a teenager, not a woman of 70.  She has upset other family members with her PA behaviour and just doesn't seem to realise she is hurting no one but herself.  So frustrating![/quote]

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