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[quote=Anonymous]It's painful, but I've done it, OP. What finally made me stop after years of chasing a relationship with my sibling was that I went through five years of emails from my sibling looking for one word of support, encouragement or love. What I found was email after email full of spite, derision, a cold shoulder, lies and endless put downs and evasions. When I looked at all that objectively, I could not see why I was bothering to keep trying to have a relationship with such a toxic person! It really seemed crazy on my part.

I wrote my sibling a letter, said my door was always open, but that I required certain things in a relationship. I asked sibling to call or visit any time to start off in a new direction. Well, it's been three years, and I'm still waiting for that call/visit! And, you know what? I'm sad about losing the relationship with my only sibling, but on the other hand, what I "lost" was not a relationship at all, but a fantasy or dream of a relationship I wanted but never had with my sibling.

And the other thing I "lost" was all that ANGER! I used to rage and rage (to DH, who was sick of it) at my sibling's latest slight, etc. No more. That's gone, and goodbye and good riddance. My life is better now, no question. Sometimes you have to make choices, and there are always costs, but you have to weigh what's best for you overall. My life is better without the constant irritation caused by my sibling, so sadness is the price I pay. [/quote]

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