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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Emotional. Our family is not broken yet. My marriage might be. They still have mommy and daddy every day that love them very much. They have a sense of normalcy. I try to shield them as much as I can from what's going on between us. [/quote]

I don't mean that as harsh as it sounds, but you're teaching them that normalcy is allowing a husband to be mean to you and putting up with a marriage that makes you unhappy.  Kids pick up on a lot and you're not shielding them as much as you think.  [/quote]

This PP has nailed it.  My mom left when I was 8 and my brother was 10.  We lived with our grandma, in her one-room unfinished basement in Edmonton for a couple of years before making it back to the States to live in a tiny condo.

We were very poor.  My mom worked nights.   She did not divorce at first and my dad claimed head of household, which finally forced her hand in divorcing him.  She did not date until I was 18.  She got married again when she was 60 and had 20+ happy years with him until his death in 2011.

OP, by my mom leaving my dad, my mom taught me not to put up with substandard relationships, and to be self-reliant.  Their unhealthy relationship did not imprint on me thanks to her leaving him.  So I had healthy relationships, except for one, but I had the sense to get out of that one.  My DH and I have been married 15 years and it is a very healthy, happy marriage.

OP, think of it this way:  You made a mistake in picking your DH.  Therefore you owe it to your daughters to model a healthy response to an unhealthy situation.  This may sound harsh, but I'm putting it this way to impress upon you that you have a duty to get out.  Otherwise your daughters will imprint on your modeling of what what kind of man to pick for a husband, and what kind of behavior to put up with.

Then you'll be watching your DDs being emotionally abused by their DHs, and your grandchildren will be affected the way your children are being affected now (and they are being affected now, OP)

OP you started this post because you know what you have to do.[/quote]
Your mother wasn't self-reliant. Your grandmother helped. Nothing wrong with that as long as you can be honest.[/quote]

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