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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Tell them!  Or DH tell them!

They're being rude just assuming they can come over.  Or are they calling first and you're agreeing to it?

If the former, call them up and say that drop-bys during the week aren't working right now--and if they show up, [b]say it's a bad time right now and shut the door. [/b] If the latter, when they call, say no![/quote]

Sorry, but as my spouse, if you ever slammed the door in my parents' face, we would be on the short road to divorce.   It is totally cool to set boundaries and have hard conversations, but I would not accept my DH disrespecting my parents like that.  My goodness people, these are the people that raised your SO and they want to spend time with the family. I do not get the disdain towards them.

[/quote]

What about the spouse who never stands up to his/her parents?  Is that also not a short road to divorce?  If it's to the point that the spouse has to stand up to the ILs, the marriage is already in a bad place.

Ideally, the OP's ILs will be respectful when informed (again, ideally by their own adult child) that weeknight visits just aren't working right now--or that they at least leave by, say, 8 or 9 PM.  But, if they don't respond positively to this reasonable request, what next?  Let them in anyway?  How does that help the situation?  No need to slam the door, but a polite, "Gosh, I thought you understood that weeknight visits aren't working for us right now.  It's really not a good time." to people who are being pushy and rude by coming over uninvited...it really is the next logical step.

But hopefully it won't get to that point.[/quote]

Honestly, I am beginning to think that I am just diffferent in that regard.  I do not look at things with a "my immediate family frist" lense and  I do not think that a close family member (especially my parents) wanting to spend time with me and my family is an imposition.  While I might be annoyed, my first play might be to understand why they felt the need to come by our house every night as opposed to seeing their own friends.  IMO, OP's IL's seem to be lonely and/or unfulfilled socially.  So I would ask my DH to intervene and get to the bottom of that issue.  [b]I would not take the stance with them that "We are tired and Larla is not STTN, so you all should please leave."  All I am saying is that compassion has its place, even here.[/b]  These folks will not be around forever. [/quote]

I can tell you have never been exhausted to the bone marrow with a child who wakes up 6 times a night. For more than a year. I would fall asleep during my commute. Clueless parents would definitely have gotten short thrift from me AND DH, who would drop off sometimes at his desk.[/quote]

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