Reply to Family wants me to help them with baby #2, after tension. WWYD?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, why were you taking care of DC1 if you didn't want to? Did you tell them they seemed to be getting back on their feet and needing you less, or back away slowly somehow? Or did you just say, "I'm feeling used and I quit"?  It doesn't seem like you gave them much of an option to choose when you stopped taking care of DC1 -- did you want them to say, "You're right, we were using you and taking advantage of you"?? They probably sincerely don't think they were. And if nothing sort of hearing them say that would have made you feel better, then how could the situation have been resolved amicably?[/quote]

We got a lot of help from family when our first was born and if one of my family members had come to me saying they felt taken advantage of, there's a lot we could have done to address the issue. I don't think OP should have had to spell out - I'll need to head home 2 weeks earlier than planned, I can't do bottle washing anymore, I would feel better if you bought me lunch every now and then, etc. Her sibling should have offered up a menu of options - including a full out.

In fact, my MIL had committed to a certain amount of time of grandma care - she offered it, we didn't ask - and when she arrived, it became clear she wouldn't be able to do the full amount of time she initially thought she could. I told her I understood, she was needed back home, and we paid to change her flight, and sent her off with a thankful farewell. I sincerely appreciate the time she could offer and even though it left us in a bit of a scramble to find childcare earlier than expected, that was our problem not hers and I think OP's family really should have taken a different approach. [/quote]

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