Reply to Family wants me to help them with baby #2, after tension. WWYD?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, why were you taking care of DC1 if you didn't want to? Did you tell them they seemed to be getting back on their feet and needing you less, or back away slowly somehow? Or did you just say, "I'm feeling used and I quit"?  It doesn't seem like you gave them much of an option to choose when you stopped taking care of DC1 -- did you want them to say, "You're right, we were using you and taking advantage of you"?? They probably sincerely don't think they were. And if nothing sort of hearing them say that would have made you feel better, then how could the situation have been resolved amicably?[/quote]

OP here. No, I did not say anything like that. I think your armchair analysis is kind of off base. Most of the time when people feel they have been taken advantage of, it also has to do with how that articulation was received - and how it was responded to. For me, it was basically a "sorry you feel that way. so will we see you sunday?" kind of response. They dismissed my sentiments, ignoring them completely. They did not want to discuss it, or ask how it can be resolved. That doesn't help break down the feeling of being taken advantage of or unappreciated. It actually reinforces it.

Others: thank you for the helpful responses, and I will try them. I love being an aunt, and I love helping people, but in my gut of guts i do not feel i'm worth it unless it comes to help they need. My instincts are to stand firm, and i'll incorporate some of your suggestions. [/quote]

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