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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, it is a roller coaster, with seemingly random outcomes and lots of seemingly insider info and games.

You need to accept this, and find a way you can live with it, and without transferring your anxiety to your child. The PPs suggesting disengaging completely and doing community college are not helpful, unless community college seems like a good option (and for many, 2 years there before the state school is actually a fantastic option). The PPs suggesting seeing the process as a way to work with your kid to understand him better are right on the mark.[/quote]

OP here.  And thank you to all for your suggestions.  It just seems that everyone is top whatever or bust when even admissions officers at top schools will verify that there are many schools where someone can get a good education. Again, is there really a huge difference between #50 and #61?

So what is the truth?  Does tier 2 or 3 mean your kid will never have a good career?  I see people with Ivy who have never reached anywhere near their goals (not every graduate can be the editor of Time or head of Morgan Stanley).  And then at work I see colleagues from no-names who are very highly respected.  It just seems that their has been this entire industry created on people's insecurities about their kids.

Regarding community college, not necessarily in that direction, but would be open to a local school for a year or two and then transfer with good grades.[/quote]

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