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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I think your state of mind is common on the front end of the front end of the process. The good news is, as you transition from thinking about college to the practicalities of actual admissions process, you'll be surprised how much of this pressure will ease -- both for you and your daughter. A few observations based on our experience:
-- The only book we bought was the Fiske Guide. It doesn't use a ratings system but does provide a comprehensive and straightforward snapshot of each school, from academics to dorm life to drinking culture. It's a great reference if you're saying to yourself, I wonder what the deal is with Franklin and Marshall?
-- Just look at a bunch of schools when you're traveling. Look at big ones, small ones, city campuses, university towns. This will give you real images to mull, to balance out the paranoid visions of frat parties, etc. 
-- Don't look at the college itself as the destination. Think about what the college will do for your child's personal and intellectual growth. As soon as the acceptances start rolling in, you will back in control of the process, and it's important that your daughter has choices that will give her real opportunities over four years, as opposed to just a line on her resume. Neither of my college kids attended the best schools they got into, FWIW.
-- Be realistic about money and you're going to play any part of this game, work that angle and cull schools on the front end based on aid prospects. I highly recommend The College Solution, a blog that focuses a lot on financing college. 
Good luck.

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