Reply to I think I am occasionally emotionally abusive to spouse and would like to stop: how?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think you are being gaslighted.[/quote]

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[/quote]

OP here. 
I had not heard this phrase so had to look it up and I think you are on to something. I really examined my behavior and I think the one thing I do that is disrespectful but not exactly abusive is that when he walks away, I follow him and keep talking so will stop that.  But he won't have the conversation.

When he is sick, he does nothing except ask me to get food for him and bring it to our room. WHne I am sick, I maintain almost my daily routine except I let the house and cooking go a bit.

Every time I point blank ask for something like more sleep, he passively aggressively doesn't give it to me and then when I get angry, says I'm abusive.  I told him yesterday, before learning this Gaslight concept, that his calling me abusive is abusive because it is not true and in the case of yesterday''s fight, I think I am correct.

Next time he does this I am going  to try my best to remain calm and tell him outline what he's doing (shirking responsibility, knowingly, and getting mad at me for pointing it out).

Now he's claiming he's sick so I"m guessing he is going to do nothing all week. He didn't clean up all last week so I feel better today and am spending the day cleaning. My in-laws are lovely but all they do is get my kids off schedule and do not help.  [/quote]

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