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[quote=Anonymous]The recent thinking on motivating your kids is that you are more likely to be successful when you collaborate with your kid to solve the problem, and when you offer small rewards for behavior like doing the homework (not for grades themselves).

You can read Kazdin and other parenting books published within the last 5-10 years to learn more about this approach.  But for now, here's a broad summary that probably won't do justice to any of these approaches.

The older thinking involves a top-down approach, where you tell your kid that if he doesn't do his homework (or chores, or whatever) you will take away away his electronics, TV time, or soccer practice that week.

The new thinking seems to be that motivation is more likely to happen if you get buy-in from your kid, and if your kid associates homework with something he actually wants instead of with bad things that happen when he doesn't do it.

So, sit down with your kid and tell him that you're going to solve this homework problem together. With your kid, work out a schedule (for example, he sets aside one hour a night for homework, and electronics go away during that hour). Also, agree on some small rewards to mark his progress towards doing homework for one hour a night. Be somewhat flexible - maybe let your kid choose when to do homework (after school or after dinner) or where (kitchen, bedroom) to do the homework. Also, let him suggest some small rewards (something small, no flat screen TVs) so that you can mark his progress with something he actually wants. Some basics are non-negotiable, of course, like the fact that he WILL set aside time for homework. Then, when a schedule is in place, reward him for spending an hour (or whatever you agree on) for X many nights a week, and not for the grades themselves.

(I know, this sounds a bit like a fad and maybe the thinking will change in another few years. Plus, the Kazdin approach sounds suspiciously like bribery, and many of us were told not to bribe our kids. However, it's working with our teenager, and I say this as someone who was initially very skeptical.)[/quote]

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