Reply to In laws sent one of our two children a valentines gift

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would throw out card and tell dc the flowers are for both.

I would have both write "thank you for the flowers" (on the same card) and both sign it.

I would then file the experience under grandparent oversight and not think about it again . [/quote]

This is a good approach. Do this. [/quote]

+2[/quote]

And as for the people posting about OP's "agony" (seriously?? "Agony"?) about this, and those saying for OP to lecture the grandparents on sexism and snark at them about "You KNOW that in school they ALL get Valentines" and so on -- Get real.

Too many people on DCUM never think about the fact that there are differences between the generations. Unless these are very young grandparents, they think of Valentine's as a holiday where girls and women get flowers, and men and boys give flowers, end of story.

Of course it would have been the "done thing" today to send both kids something, but generationally, that's not always how older people think. If they were kindly told, "Thanks for the flowers! Both kids enjoyed them a lot -- Sam likes Valentine's as much as Sally and they're both sending you a thank-you note," that is sufficient. No anti-sexism lectures necessary, no finger-wagging about "You ought to know better" and so on. The grandparents' generational take on Valentine's celebration is not an excuse for them to give one kid something and another nothing, but it IS an explanation, and one that parents on these forums never seem to take into account. These grandparents weren't out to be mean intentionally to the boy. They likely just thought it would be cute to send flowers to a girl because in their experience, flowers are FOR girls. They also likely would be mortified with themselves if they realized that they were expected to send things to both kids. Sounds like OP and others here would be glad to mortify them, as if they committed some huge infraction. Geez.

OP, please ramp down the indignation. This is not necessarily the thin end of the wedge; they aren't going to start dissing your son regularly. Will you be equally angry when, for instance, it's baseball season, your son loves baseball, and they want to take him but not her to a game with them? Or when grandma wants to take her out for a movie that daughter would espeically like, daughter comes home with a gift but doesn't bring one for her brother too? Siblings do not have to have exactly everything, exactly the same, at exactly the same time. They're not joined at the hip.

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