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[quote=Anonymous][quote]Some new grandmothers just don't get it.

OP, do you have a good relationship with her otherwise? I think you need to be kind but clear. Tell her that you love her and that you're glad she's in your life and in your child's life. And then tell her that between work and the baby, you're drowning right now. Tell her that you don't have the time and energy to meet all her expectations and that the combined effect of all the messages is stressing you and hurting your relationship with her. It makes you want to see and talk to her less, not more, and you don't want to feel that way about her. [/quote]

OP, my parents are in Europe and my mother has always been the controlling/smothering kind. This is why I moved so far away!
You can tell her what PP outlined, but what will work much better is following through whatever boundaries you decide on, and refusing to defend, discuss or explain them every single time. Don't get sucked into her dependency.

I send pictures every 3 months (kids are 3 and 8). When the firstborn was less than a year old, it was more like once every month.
We talk on the phone every 2 days. This is because I stay home. When I worked, it would be one phone conversation every weekend.
We visit each other once a year for 2 weeks - some years they come to us, other years we go to them.

These are my boundaries. If she doesn't like it, she can lump it. Otherwise it's no end of a drama spiral.[/quote]

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