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[quote=Anonymous][quote]]I fought him on it 3 years ago. It was a costly train wreck. He started trouble with extended family that still causes me grief. [/quote]
Your extended family or his?  If his, who cares?  Cut them off.

[quote]He snooped in my email and cell phone bill. [/quote]
How?  Does he have your email password?  Why?  How can he access your cell phone bill?  Are you on the same plan?  If so, that needs to change.  Even if you have to go pre-paid, get off his plan.

[quote]He's an involved parent. I'm an involved parent. I don't want for either of us to stop going to everything. Is 9:45 suggesting I just continue to keep it a secret? With Facebook, it's difficult to keep things from one person. 
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I never suggested keeping secrets.  If he finds out, he finds out.  But don't discuss it with him.  Refuse to have any conversations with him that aren't directly related to the health or well-being of your child.  Period.  Doctors appointments, school stuff visitation, ..... those are the only things you should be discussing.

[quote]I don't introduce my child to people I'm dating. Since I known him and his family for years, she already knows him. I haven't mentioned the dating to her, but she has noticed him calling me and my demeanor when he's on the phone. Maybe the PPs don't have teens and tweens. They're quick to pick up on this stuff.[/quote]

I've been divorced forever.  And remarried for a very long time.  I have college kids.  I have absolutely been where you are.  This will not get better until you decide to completely cut him out of YOUR life.  You have no choice but to continue a co-parenting relationship. That does not mean he needs to be your buddy.

Honestly, it sounds like you are still way too involved.  My ex-husband could not have accessed my email or my cell phone bills without breaking the law.  He is not my "friend" on facebook.   I told him I was getting married, but until then we didn't talk about my dating life.  Same with him.  I knew he was dating but didn't know details until after he and his wife were engaged.  I could have pumped my kids for information, but I didn't.

It sounds to me like you are still very connected to your ex.  That's not healthy for you or for your child.
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