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[quote=Anonymous]This is an old thread!

I divorced a BPD woman - thankfully no children.  I was living in another state at the time, so the lawyer I used would be of no help.  The lawyer was the best in town and was chosen because, despite the expense, it sent a signal to her (and any lawyer she found) that this was not for giggles.  I got the lawyer with the vicious pit-bull reputation, and all he had to do was draft the papers on his stationary, no fighting involved.  I highly recommend this approach.

I made a 100% clean break - like, I was out of her presence within five minutes of the first time I said i wanted a divorce.  That is because BPD fear, more than anything, abandonment.  All the crazy behavior is an attempt to control/avoid abandonment.

So, when you tell them: you are pulling the pin on a hand grenade.  You better have all your ducks in a row and well-rehearsed so all you do is execute the plan as cleanly and fast as possible.

I was lucky - I never spoke to my ex again after that moment and I will never have to.  I have kept an eye on her whereabouts just to avoid unpleasant surprises, but she found a new mark very quickly and has him tied down with a child now.

People who share children...ugh.  I can't imagine.  I think you better game out the co-parenting with a counselor and custody with a lawyer.  After my experience, I would default to an adversarial stance, and ensure I was ALWAYS in a position of power relative to an abusive BPD master manipulator.  The children will be used as weapons by the BPD sufferer.

The BPD family site was a source of help for me - a huge one.

PP @10:42 - my heart goes out to you, but it's awesome you were able to do that for your kids.  My BPDex probably wouldn't be the basket case she is except for her father not being able to cope and abandoning her with her (even crazier) abusive bipolar mother.  I'm pretty sure my ex's issues all stem from growing up with a horribly abusive mother when the sane parent - dad - bailed out and fled.[/quote]

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