Reply to Perspecitive from the mother of a very popular teenage boy or girl.

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[quote=Anonymous]OP I give you credit for vocalizing and coming on a subject most moms especially are reluctant to discuss, this is something at the forefront of nearly every girls mother, I promise even if we don't admit it. In fact I laugh writing because most who know me would be shocked that their strong, able go to friend (me) is actually vulnerable like everyone else and a little at times worried about her daughters "social standing" . 
Admittedly i am more involved inner life than I should be. I cannot help it, shes my baby, my two older boys are away at school and I really enjoy living a little through her! There, I admit it! And let me tell you there are many mothers like myself (a professional) who are very much this way too though few would admit it.
My D was a very popular girl until 10th grade. Seh had to miss 2 months of school due to illness, when we returned somehow it was not quite the same. She was replaced by a former best friend as the new "queen bee" who also started going out with my D's previous bf! Talk about feeling replaced. Since then she is back "in the group" (she is a junior now) but now the ruler of the group, more like a member. Its "the" group to be a part of at  her very competitive private school and I can see she i always worried about her standing and on occasion talks to me about it.

There is a lot of pressure to know that's invited to all the things everyone else is, to look a certain way, to make the right teams/clubs, its quite a web of almost cult like behavior and to conform is a tremendous amount of work, both mentally and emotionally. I personally cannot wait until she graduates for this reason alone!

My boys were much easier! So OP bottom line is MOST mothers feel insecure in some way about their kids, are they popular enough, well liked enough, smart enough, cute enough, wearing the right clothes,etc.....it goes on.  Best thing we can do is just be there for them and offer our support in an unconditional
 way through the good, bad and ugly.

Sometimes I wish my daughter was in the "lower rung" social group....less pressure![/quote]

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