Reply to Perspecitive from the mother of a very popular teenage boy or girl.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have three kids, my oldest is 14, a daughter. i am starting to see she is kind of a loner. She is well adjusted, is a happy kid, very artsy but just not super social. It does hurt me as I was very social growing up. The phone rarely rings and most weekends she is home doing things with us when I know many her age are off to malls, parties and such. The most important thing is that she is truly a happy kid and is as happy shopping with me or taking on a art project. Once in a while she will do something with a friend but its maybe one to two times a month. I am starting to accept it even though I badgered for a long time. I cannot lie it still bothers me.

Just wondering from a mother's perspective, what is it to be the mother of a very popular teen? Do you ever wish that was not the way or do you bask in the glory? Is it not all that its cracked up to be? Lonely at the top? Because its anonymous was hoping for answers to something I have always wanted to know, hopefully everyone can speak honestly.  Is the phone constantly ringing and shes or he is always being asked to do this or that, and its you putting a limit to how much they do? Sometimes I wish I had that problem, other times I am thankful I just have a happy well adjusted  kid even if she chooses to not have many friends. Thanks for indulging me[/quote]

I applaud your courage is writing this. I wanted my DDs to be the most popular also. Like another poster, I have two. The more popular one (who is not as popular as she would like) spends an endless amount of time on these little things. A lot of it seems like a waste of time to me. The other popular girls are not very nice, and there is constant pressure to be "richer" something we can't accomplish just because she would like us to! And it gets expensive buying all that conforming stuff. Another downside is that girls she does not want to be friends with want to be friends with her. That gets awkward, because the cliques are set up to exclude, not include. She does not want not to be nice, but neither does she want to be pushed out of her clique. I know I will get flamed for this, but their motivation is to be popular, not so much to be friends with DD.
My other DD spends a LOT of time studying, or else doing a sport. She does seem happy but I wonder if she will ever get her head out of her book. [/quote]

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