Reply to Perspecitive from the mother of a very popular teenage boy or girl.

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[quote=Anonymous]DD is in college now, but was very popular all through school. Even now, when she's coming home the phone starts ringing nonstop a day before she arrives.

It was exhausting and noisy. DD felt stress, I think, trying to balance what everyone wanted of her. Even in first grade, I remember the teacher pulling me aside after school one day to assure me she didn't send DD to the back of the group to punish her, but because other girls were fighting over who got to sit next to her. Sometimes in high school I'd take DD shopping and a random GROWN MAN would say hi to her and when I'd ask who that was she'd tell me, "Oh, that's Sara from camp's uncle's friend's coworker." She just knew EVERYONE. But, sometimes she'd talk to me late into the night about problems her friends were having and how sometimes she worried they were making up awful things just to get her attention, but accusing someone of faking being molested was a big step to take. People took it very personally if she didn't go to someone's party. Once she broke her arm on the same day she came down with bronchitis and stayed home watching movies on the couch, and a girl called hysterically screaming, "You could have just laid on MY COUCH! Everyone was coming because I told them you'd be here and then you didn't show; you humiliated me!" So although she had a lot of friends, there was also a lot of pressure. My boyfriend and I had a LOT of talks with DD about people using people, having firm boundaries, etc.

Your girl is a happy introvert, OP. Let her be. [/quote]

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