Reply to Would you ever let the fact that your kids don't want to move keep you from moving?

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Reply to "Would you ever let the fact that your kids don't want to move keep you from moving?"

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[quote=Anonymous]At the end of the day, the parents have to make the right decision for the family, including balancing job opportunities, finances, long-term pros and cons, etc.

That being said, I also think it's wrong to discount kids' feelings about moving. I moved often my entire life at home with my family (military brat) and we were not only given no choice, it didn't really matter how sad we were about it. We just had to suck it up. We never had close relationships with extended family because we often were outside the US, or across the country. It can affect your ability to form close relationships long-term if you're never given the opportunity to do so outside your family. It can also make you internalize feelings of powerlessness about your life that can last into adulthood, even when objectively you now do have control over your life.

We recently made the difficult decision to move back to this area after seven years in a great university town elsewhere. Although we knew it was going to be hard on the kids, we underestimated how hard it would actually be, and for how long. My daughters cried every day for several months into the school year. We have had to go through a lot of sadness as a family. Although it was the right decision for us to move, as both my husband and I got better jobs, we all made sacrifices -- from our own house with a great yard in a great neighborhood to a rental townhouse, from great small schools to OK but not great large MoCo schools, MoCo traffic, no place to play or ride bikes in the neighborhood. In many ways our kids have had the worst of it on a day to day basis. Again we had to make this decision in the best long-term financial interests of our family, but I would never -- based on my own experience, or that of my kids -- dismiss their feelings and tell them to suck it up.[/quote]

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