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[quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thanks, I appreciate all the responses. I would like to clarify that my concern about inequity is more about the siblings than my MIL and FIL. The other two families pay their own way, and when they come here, they are spending money they wouldn't be spending if the gathering were closer to them. I still feel a bit awkward about MIL and FIL subsidizing plane tickets, but less so than when BIL and SIL's families are spending money on plane tickets to come all the way out here plus a rental house.

To the person who suggested we host, we would absolutely love to host, but we live in a 3BR townhouse and there are 16 of us total (8 adults, 8 children). So that's out.

The way it is shaping up this year actually has me really concerned that my BIL and SIL (and perhaps MIL and FIL too, I don't know) don't believe that we don't have the money to travel and think that I am trying to snub them in some way. We do not take any other vacations unless it is to see my parents (who live much closer to us, within driving distance). This year we can't even do that because our income has decreased for the second year in a row. I don't know how to assure them that this is purely a financial issue without telling them tacky details about how bad things are. Basically they are all coming here and renting a house about an hour away from where we live and said that my older kids can come stay there with them. It sounds to me like they think I don't want to see them and that I'm trying to keep the kids from them by pretending that we can't afford a trip. Nothing could be further from the truth and the fact that they seem to think this is really upsetting to me.[/quote]

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