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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
Agree on 3 things  -
1) You will present a united front in front of kids and will not argue in front of them at all. If one parent says "NO" then it is a "NO" from the other parent too. Always ask "What did mommy/daddy say?"
2) What behavior is to be corrected, punished, ignored.  (In my house kids can eat in front of the TV in the family room - this will NOT fly in my brother's house. Everyone eats in the kitchen or the dining room - there are lots of great reasons to do that - yet it does not bother me when kids meander from one room to another snacking or eating)
3) Don't negotiate on bad behavior, don't change what you have said. So don't say "no" but change it in a few minutes when they start whining.

RECOGNIZE - you and your spouse have been raised in different households. You both react in few ways - 1) Your own emotional triggers (I do not care if kids eat dessert first - growing up we had to finish our meals and the dessert was sort of a "reward")   and 2) What YOU think is important (My DH froths when kids watch TV. He does not care if it is educational or entertainment)

Best of luck.

Do not raise a brat. Learn to say "no" to her now and you will teach her that the world does not revolve around her. She will then grow up to have healthy relationships with her own spouse and children and other people in her life.

[/quote]

All good except the "united front" - not sustainable in my experience.  Better: whoever was handling the dispute, handle it.  Spouse should not have to endorse the consequence, merely not contradict it.  It's an important distinction, particularly as the child gets older and plays one off against the other.  We ask, "have you already asked your father?  then you have your answer."[/quote]

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