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[quote=Anonymous]As someone else said, I've learned long ago not to give more than I am willing to give.  We have family that we treat (my family) and we have family that treats us (my in-laws). When we are on the end of being treated the key is to be gracious and to contribute something.  You don't want people to feel like you are taking advantage and just expect it automatically, don't lift a finger for anything or to help anyone, or have prioritized your money to never have it for trips to visit them but talk about flying off to Florida and just finished a nice flying vacation elsewhere.

You can offer to host the holidays at your place one year or pitch in for groceries if invited to a place they rented or like you say pay for some of the plane tickets.  I think when you can pay for nothing at all and can't offer to host at your place then it feels like charity and I wouldn't necessarily feel comfortable year in and year out in that situation.

Now I don't know what they do for the other family members and if you feel like there is an inequity there like they pay for your plane tickets but DH siblings pay their own way. You can't control their actions on that.  I personally will set aside the same money for both children and if I spend $700 on plane tickets for one, I will either make the same offer to the other child or spend the same money in a different way.  Not that this was your situation but I've seen it where one child opts to go to an expensive school or tries their hand at something that doesn't pay well while the other sibling sacrifices or sucks it up at a job they don't like in order to pay the bills.  It doesn't seem right to me to reward the person that made bad financial choices and not give anything to the person that sacrificed because they don't need any help. That starts to go down the path of perceived favorites.[/quote]

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