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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. This situation is taking place between three states, frankly (not going to say which even though this is an anonymous forum).

I called CPS. Things came to a head though on their own. My brother had a hypotensive episode when he was drinking late at night. 911 was called (by my mom), he went to the ER, the dominoes fell...  at least for now, she is safe with my mother until Monday. We will see what happens then.

CPS did assure that despite the distance challenges, they will try to place her with family.

To the question about his wife, as it turns out she volunteered for this deployment (to get away from him) and gave him an ultimatum before she left to work stuff out. We just found this out during the hospital visit.

Thanks for the reminder to a PP about speaking well about her father especially. I think that is something is difficult for my parents (and me) to keep in mind since we've been witness to his destruction for 20 years now. I think my mom is pretty good about telling her that she is strong, capable, and smart.

& thanks again for all the advice, everyone. [/quote]

Hi OP, I'm 05:14 above, SO GLAD you called CPS.  But really, isn't it also mind-blowing how things "take care of themselves" in some ways.  Given that you've been looking for a way to support your neice, IF your brother was going to be hospitalized, this was the time for it to happen.  Facilitates everything in terms of intervening.

You don't have to give the details here, but hopefully your mom is making the most of this time that your brother isn't home.  Is there a plan?  Where can your neice go, or is your mom planning to just stay there with your neice and your brother?  If your goal is to get her out, did CPS give you helpful info about what that can/would look like, and what else needs to happen?  Has your mom assured your neice that you guys all see what's going on with her, and fully intent to support her?  ANd  yes, support her dad too (although that may not look like your neice wants it to, since she's so used to protecting him herself).  Hopefully all these conversations are going on.

It sounds like you're doing an AMAZING job (and your mom too), and your neice is so so very lucky to have you as aunt and grandma.  Thanks for the update, you're doing the right thing, and you're changing a young life for the better because of it.  Maybe between your brother's wife's ultimatum and this, your brother may get a wake up call and start figuring out if he's ready to do some healing... but no one can wait for him re: your neice.  She needs help now, and you guys are awesome to be giving her that help.

Wishing the best for you all!  Please do update again if you can.[/quote]

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