Reply to Dealing with a Shopaholic MIL

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[quote=Anonymous][quote]It is none of your business how other people spend their money. It is your job to save for college for your children, not the job of any other relative or friend, no matter how much you wish you could control their spending. If you don't want her gifts, tell her, but you cannot tell her how to spend her money and unless she is asking you for money, her credit card debt is also none of your business.[/quote]

I hate this attitude.  Since we are all family, and we all help each other out, yes, how we spend our money matters.  On my side of the family, my grandparents helped out my parents with major life expenses to the degree they could.  My dad's parents were wealthier than my mom's parents, so they helped more, but both sets of grandparents contributed to our college funds, they loaned money for my parents' first house downpayment, and they sent us savings bonds.  And when they got older, my dad managed my grandmother's finances and arranged for in home care and took care of her taxes.  My mom helped her parents out with medical care and with taking care of their house.  When they died, they dealt with the taxes, closing accounts, and selling their houses.  So yes, debt and financial obligations extend beyond your individual microcosm of self.  If a relative has a ton of credit card debt and they are getting older and have nothing put away for when they are too old to work, then it definitely impacts their children because obviously any decent person isn't going to let their parents or in-laws die destitute.  Likewise, if they have issues with spending money, shopping, and collecting stuff to the point where they are behaving as if they are mentally ill, I think the family has a responsibility to step in.  I think this kind of defensiveness comes from people who have problems with money and don't want to admit it.  I was raised to think that we are all in it together.[/quote]

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