Reply to DH Rant

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "DH Rant"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'd suggest you focus on the "good person, kind, thoughtful, generous, and wonderful friend and father" aspects of your husband.  There are plenty of women on these boards who are married to successful rainmakers that cheat on them with hookers and strippers.  Doesn't sound like your husband is that kind of guy.[/quote]

No, he's not.  And I know that.  But, to be honest, the thought of getting in bed with him is just not a turn on anymore.  [/quote]

What is is that you find sexually attractive about the people you fantasize about? Since it sounds like your husband is perfectly comfortable talking about his issues, perhaps you could have an honest conversation with him about how you'd like him to be more ________ in the bedroom. An honest conversation about how you feel about your relationship. If he does not know that you miss X, Y, Z about your relationship, he cannot be expected to work on those aspects of it.

Honestly, you both sound depressed. You are feeling uninspired by your relationship and romantically estranged from your husband. He is insecure. Perhaps you should go to therapy, have a couples weekend, try new things together, etc.[/quote]

Well yes, I am a bit depressed about it.  [b]We've made a huge move for the good of our whole family, I have an awesome job and am doing well, we have a healthy child, a beautiful house, etc etc and he is STILL not happy.  I feel like he will never be happy.[/b]  It's been two years of anxiety and unhappiness from him and I can't take it anymore.  He's done therapy on his own.  I've done therapy on my own.  I'm trying.  DH is trying (I think) but not as hard as he could.  I can't have the same conversation about the same insecurities again.  It's like fucking Groundhog Day.

What is it that I find sexually attractive about the person I fantasize about?  He's educated, intelligent, handsome (so is DH), but he is also confident (DH is so not, and I'm at a loss for how else to help him that I haven't already tried).  He knows his worth and he goes out and gets things done.  He doesn't whine.  [/quote]

Ok, you get the irony here, right?

Having said that, maybe it's time to stop listening to him for an hour about his insecurities, since it doesn't seem to be helping.  "DH, I'm hearing the same kinds of anxieties and insecurities over and over.  It doesn't seem like venting is making you happy, and it's really draining me.  Can we talk about what you're going to do about it?"[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics