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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Really appreciate the views shared. I am trying to come to accept my wife as being a permanent SAH, though it's not our original agreement. House we bought was on the promise from her that she'd return to work. If this doesn't happen, our expenses are too high for my income. So I was thinking to tell her that if things don't change in 18 months we would sell the house, and adjust our lifestyle accordingly. I realize this sounds like an ultimatum which I would avoid but that's the gist. I admit it is 95% a money issue and 5% a principle issue.[/quote]

I think you are within perfect right to do this and in fact are being more than fair, if you really did have an "original agreement" about how this was going to work. She has changed the terms on you, but you are still giving her a choice. She either helps pay for this house, or you live in something smaller that you can afford on one income. How can anyone criticize that logic?[/quote]

ITA. If you can't afford your home on your current HHI, then you must increase your income or downsize your living expenses. This is not an ultimatum, this is REALITY. It sounds like your wife needs a reality check.

Further, who is saving to support both of you in retirement? The question about whether the family's net income increases when both parents are working and childcare is an expense is an extremely short-sighted one. Every year one spouse stays out of the work force makes it that much harder to get back in at anywhere close to the salary she stopped working and is another year lost in retirement savings or pension contributions.

But the person you should be having this conversation with is your wife, not us. It sounds like you guys have lots to talk about, actually. You didn't know she was planning to have another child?[/quote]

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