Reply to When being less controlling means putting family at risk

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]H and I had some marital problems so I went to a therapist. He wouldn't go as he does not believe in therapy.
Long story short, I had to put therapy on hold for a number of reasons but this is what I now realize:
I married H as someone who is not very self sufficient so I could control him and thus try to feel less anxious. However this was pretty draining, plus as I got weaker and could not hold the reigns as tight, he became more and more protesting and started to do more and more of his own thing, which unfortunately led to some bad consequences as he truly is not very wise. At the same time therapy made me less controlling so I find it less and less possible and desirable to control him.

So now I end up realizing that I either stay controlling and keep him in check (which btw may not always be possible), or let him make a significant number of decisions and execute them, but often face not so great consequences (I am talking injuries, money loss, and the like on his part), and have to deal with it- since we are legally married (if not for other reasons).
I can leave him, but he makes good money and is a decent, if not great, dad to our preschooler.
As for our relationship, honestly he mostly irritates me, but I am able to keep semblance of amicable relationship by being a good friend and having sex from time to time. If it weren't for the child I would be out of here, like, yesterday. However the child's well being is at stake (I won't be able to afford the same level of financial security for him, I am afraid, even with child support).

Wwyd?
[/quote]

If I were him I would leave you[/quote]

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