Reply to What is reasonable to ask of in-town family in terms of help with kids?

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[quote=Anonymous]OP here.  Again, thanks for the reality check.  This was an anonymous vent and it was helpful for me to see other perspectives, although it is not one that I grew up with.

Not that this makes a difference but MIL voluntarily moved to our neighborhood recently-- we didn't go move to hers.

Maybe this makes me a spiteful b*tch, but I will be honest and say that a less "helpful" MIL who is local makes me less likely to want to see her on the weekends/evenings when it is our family time.  For example, DH always wants to invite her over for dinner during the week....which I cook with a 3 year old running around after work (and I also hate cooking).  It drives me NUTS to have MIL show up on our doorstep at 6:30 asking "how she can help" when by that point, dinner has been prepped and cooked already.

As another S/O, I wonder if the dynamic is different if it was your own mom vs DH's mom.  Given my new-found understanding of the dynamics, I will be loathe to ask MIL to do anything (unless it's a major emergency) and will ask DH to do it.  If it were my own mother, the bar is much lower.[/quote]

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