Reply to DW's Affair

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You have two options
1.  Tell her that you know she is having an affair and that you want to put your marriage back together.  Offer to do it with her -- ie see a counselor
2.  Decide it is over and start collecting evidence of her infidelity. Don't blindly tail her like an idiot.  See an attorney and figure out how to do it right.[/quote]

+1[/quote]

He can't put the marriage back together. She is the one having the affair.

Amazing how different the responses are when it is a husband catching his wife cheating. No one tells a wife that has just caught her husband cheating that she needs to put the marriage back together. he would be called all kinds of names and people would be telling the wife to not put up with that and that if he isn't remorseful and willing to put it off completely then there is no hope. She would be told to get out, not put up with someone who treats her poorly etc...

Here people put the blame on the man. No judgment of her. I hate this all women are saints so no matter what they do it can be excused because obviously a man made her do it.

Op - let me be the dissenting voice. This isn't your fault and it isn't your responsibility to repair the marriage. She is the one that wrecked it, the responsibility is on her to put it back together. And if she isn't completely remorseful and willing to cut off all contact - you should walk away because she is treating you like dirt. She doesn't have the moral integrity to not cheat and lie, and she doesn't mind devastating you - you really have to decide if that is who you really want to be with. [/quote]

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