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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
I was very similar to your daughter. I went to TJ, got frustrated, lost my drive, started hanging with a crowd that partied too much, etc. My parents let me find my own way out of the mess I'd created and I'm pretty darn successful today. And happy. It's gonna be an uphill battle, but your daughter will find her way back.

I'm sure my eff-ups just about killed my parents, so I have a sense of what you're going through and I'm sorry.[/quote]

Not OP, but thank you for posting this.  It sounds like you are a very insightful young person and not that unusual in your burnout, btw.  Kudos to you for finding your way back to where you wanted to be and having the maturity and sensitivity to realize how your parents must have felt.   And kudos to your parents for letting you find your own way out of your "mess," as you described it.   Too few parents in this area seem willing to allow kids to do that -- though it's an essential part of growing up.  I'm sorry for the pain you must have experienced, but it sounds like the lessons you learned are already serving you well. :)

[/quote]

Thank you so much :). It was weirdly therapeutic to write that paragraph. This area is full of crazy pressures and it's hard to remember that life is long and there are actually a lot chances to take a mulligan and try again. I hope my parents will get over the PTSD someday![/quote]

NP here. Another vote of thanks! I'm curious, how exactly did your parents handle it? Did they have a completely hands-off approach, did they yell or make you feel guilty, or something else? I ask as a parent....[/quote]

Gosh, it's hard to describe...I think I would say that they backed off but were never closed off? I know that I had to be the one who asked for help once I had so thoroughly wasted everything they gave me opportunity-wise. It was up to me to find colleges that were willing to take a bet on a kid with great SATs and lousy grades (like Ds and Cs and a couple Fs, truly awful), but after I rocked my first year at a lower-ranked state school I asked for help in figuring out the transfer process and my mom was there every step of the way. I ended up at a pretty decent school and no one cared about high school after that. I'm sure they were incredibly angry and hurt, but I never doubted that they loved me and believed that I could do better. How they wrote that love and faith on my bones I don't know, but I'm trying to do the same with my own kids.[/quote]

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