Reply to Grandparents coming in for first grandchild--tension already

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[quote=Anonymous]I would tell them to not come immediately after the baby is born. Of course this will upset them but it doesn't sound like you really want them involved and find them difficult so it isn't like you are going to want them around later. You might as well make your stand now and let them know you don't see them as having an involved role and get the hurt feelings out of the way.

Seeing as they are flying across the country, a very short visit while staying in a hotel seems like an incredible waste of time and money and will only serve to make everyone madder. I would just tell them they can come at the 3 month mark or at some point down the road. Flying out here to maybe spend an hour or two a day for a few days is ridiculous. If they are wealthy and money is of no concern, then I guess they could come for a short visit.

I have no idea why you would entertain them in any way if you just had a baby. They can look after themselves or go without. I don't know why you think it would be rude to let them know that you will be occupied and won't be available to make meals. You may also be overestimating how busy you and your husband will be with the baby. You won't know this until the baby arrives but your baby may not need 2 adults attention 24/7. Some babies sleep between feeds and unless you have major complications, you don't need to be taken care all the time.

Unless they are rich, just tell them all not to come. If you were excited for your families to meet your baby or had a positive perspective on grandparents - you wouldn't just see this visit as being 100% negative, 100% annoyance and frustration. But you do. So I think it is important to let them know that. If you see their role as grandparents being coming in and staying in a hotel for a few days every year - tell them that. It will save you years of fights and frustrations due to differing expectations to just lay it out now. [/quote]

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