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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here - I'm definitely not a saint. I absolutely have my flaws and imperfections, and sincerely never had any ill feelings towards my SIL. I figured she was just having a really hard time adapting (to motherhood, to her extended family, etc), and felt sympathy for her. I get that. But to call someone a bitch is also indicative of her resentment, for me cutting the cord. [b]This was via my brother, when asked why he never brings my nephew over when I'm around and why I never hear from SIL anymore (despite me touching base occasionally). That I'm a bitch, because she knows I'm done doing things for her anymore.[/b] And that I never hear from her, because there's no reason to ask for things anymore.

Anyway. I'm glad I got it out. Her own family thinks she's an unappreciative snob. It is what it is. [/quote]

Did you confront her, chew her out, or just start saying "Sorry, I can't take you to X on that day" whenever she called? Makes [i]something[/i] of a difference; she still has NO excuse for calling you a bitch even if you did confront her, but if you did -- it would have possibly been better to just not take her calls. Which happened?

Meanwhile.... So your brother is doing exactly what demanding, controlling wife is telling him to do and keeping his son away from you? Where is HE in all this?

He's in for such a lovely life.

I bet he has conveniently forgotten the meals you cooked, the times you drove SIL places (he can take time off work next time she needs a ride), and so on. He's as much an ingrate as she is, if he has zero recognition for what you did and he also is caving to her whim. Granted, you are the aunt and not the parent, so you have no "right" to see your nephew, in my eyes, but your brother is being as much a jerk as his wife if he can't tell her, "My sister did X, Y and Z. I would have had to take vast time off work to drive you places and look after you the way sister did. You're being ungrateful and you are using OUR child to punish her, which I won't allow because you don't get sole rights over who our child does and doesn't see, just because you have decided you dislike the person who helped US out at a tough time."

Sure, he will choose wife over sister -- that is how things work, generally, and it's generally right -- but if I take what you say at face value, then your brother is to blame as much as SIL is, for letting her be an entitled princess and not calling her on it. Maybe he likes the entitled princess type. Hope he still likes it years from now when he's hauling her around and not seeing anyone in his family anymore after she burns through all of you.

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