Reply to I'm thirty and worried about my future.

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Reply to "I'm thirty and worried about my future."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP writing. Yeah, I totally agree, but I don't understand how men can claim to love someone and say she is the one and then dig in their heels when she asks for a permanent commitment. I feel like I'm screwed no matter what I do because anyone else will always feel like second best. He is my number one and my best friend. I guess if I want marriage then I may have to look for another man and put the second best notion out of my mind. [/quote]

You make yourself seem like such a winner in your post. A winner with poor self esteem perhaps, because the man you described, it's a loser. [/quote]

OP, I agree, but will try to say it more gently than PP did.  It sounds like you don't believe that you are lovable, and that your BF is the only man who will want to marry you.  You don't say you want to marry him because he is a catch and the right guy for you - you say you want to marry him because it's been 7 years.  Then you go on to list his many issues/challenges (and if you think they are issues now, just wait until you have kids).  You said very little about what makes him a good BF and good DH material.

7 years is not a reason to marry.  Really, it's not.  The status quo is not a reason to marry, either.

Get yourself into therapy and examine what you want. Then make choices to get you there.

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