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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Read the book "The Gift of Fear."  I think it makes some useful points about how to handle stalker/abusive/
manipulative guys. [/quote]

She isn't going to be able to follow the advice he gives when she still has to coparent with the guy.

OP, if they're minor things, just note them and move on. If he's not returning the children when he's supposed to or something else serious, contact your attorney. He's in the wrong, but you'll need to be in contact with him for many years. You might as well keep it as simple as possible. [/quote]

I'm dealing with a similar situation and have been for several years. I document everything until it hits a breaking point and then file for enforcement and contempt. The first time it took a year, but I had a documented pattern of behavior and a big enough change in circumstance to get the parenting schedule adjusted. We go through the state for child support, they don't help with enforcement until it gets really bad, but it's a 3rd party documentation and if it does get outrageous, you'll have help getting him to pay.

We're headed back to court for the third time since the divorce 5 years ago, but XH is almost $15K behind on support and there are other issues that our 1st modification didn't address that are now becoming urgent.

You will have to deal with him until your children are grown (and most likely afterwards too). You'll need to figure out what you can live with and what you can't and then be prepared to fight hard to enforce whatever boundaries you set. It's hard to figure out, if you don't have a good therapist, find one. Mine was amazing and helped me figure out what it was that I really wanted, how to accept the fact that I couldn't control or make him comply and how to work around his instability and nastiness. She was also great with helping me figure out how to protect my kid without withholding access or opening myself up to more abuse. [/quote]

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