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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My DH comes from an upper middle class to wealthy family in DC.  We've felt a little bit (even subconsciously) like we had to maintain the lifestyle in which he grew up. We also wanted to, but it's getting tougher and tougher and I feel like it's keeping "up with the jone's' but instead of the jone's it's his background and family. The result is feeling like we can only live in certain neighborhoods (NW Dc and close in MC)  must continue  sending kids to private school, be members of the country club etc. If we had more money I wouldn't mind so much but our budget is too tight.

Anybody else in this situation? I don't need to hear about how dumb it is to feel this way and how I shouldn't worry what others think. I'd love to hear from people who have experienced this and whether they bucked the system or just went along with it.[/quote]

OP, I would much prefer to sleep well at night rather than living beyond my means by trying to keep up with the Joneses.  Do you think the Joneses are going to bail you out if you get in over your head?  And, I am talking about the Joneses in DHs family.  Actually, I think it is more your insecurity than anyone looking down on you.  Also, I always say "Things are not always as they appear" even in our own families.  I had an uncle who was a prominent physician with a pretentious wife and four kids, and they lived in upscale neighborhoods, took luxurious vacations, wore the latest fashions, drove a big SUV.  And, guess what?  They were drowning in debt and robbing Peter to pay Paul.  So, you need not concern yourself with the lifestyles of the rich and famous or wannabe rich and famous and focus on the lifestyle that is comfortable for you and DH.[/quote]

[b]So you haven't experienced this?[/quote][/b]

I ignore it and try to live a sustainable life.  When I see contemporaries with kids in Big 3 schools and going on vacation in Qatar and I can't figure out what the husband really does for work and wife has a mid-level management job in a corporation, I just ignore them.  Either they have some secret stash of millions, family money or are doing something illegal and haven't gotten caught yet.  I can't worry about these people.  I can only live my life.[/quote]

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