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[quote=Anonymous]My family hates kids and is generally bitchy and mean...and my husband's stews passive-agressively if we dont do all their recipes and traditions to the T. Goodness, are they ever unhelpful and judgy. Both families just suck the joy out of holidays. DH and I have really 4 very young and delightful kids and we just got sick of fighting a loosing battle to enjoy holidays with them.

Now, we don't hesitate to decline offers to spend holidays with extended family now. We started our own traditions which I steer toward things we can do together and which give a sense of harmony and balance through the holiday weekend. A short walk to get exercise and exposure to nature if possible, a drive to see city holiday lights, a historic site to feel connection to history and tradition through time, something silly like a kid tallent show or a joke contest to just have a laugh, and food of course. We have a different food culture theme to the meal each year. Never the same exact recipe but traditional in being a very different turkey/sides every year. And, lastly, we love hitting as many of friend's Thanksgivings festivities as possible. So and so's at noon, another family's at 2pm, ours at 4pm, 6pm at another friend's grandmother's. it give us that joy and community we don't get from our own extended families.[/quote]

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