Reply to About to lose it with my SIL! Will not stop comparing her children with mine!

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP I think you need to handle this directly.

"Tracy, I know that all of your suggestions are meant to be helpful, but they make me feel criticized and corrected.  Our kids are built differently and will have different individual qualities - good and bad.  I am so glad to have them all growing up together.  However, I need to ask you to please stop making all of the suggestions and comparisons between the children.  I will absolutely ask your advice and opinion when I want it.  I really appreciate you respecting my request.  So, let's talk about our Thanksgiving plans..."

Good luck.[/quote]

Ignore the PPs, OP.   I like the above approach.   Maybe add something positive at the beginning to help get the conversation started with the right tone.   "I admire so many of the things you do as a mom."   (Or something similar that you can say honestly).  "You do so many things right, but I guess I've decided that there is more than one right way to address all these parenting challenges."

I just listened to a speaker talk about the dangers of "stuffing" frustration and irritations like these and she suggested having a conversation similar to the one above during a time when things are amicable between you and starting the conversation with something positive.  She asserted that if you don't address these type of issues, the frustration can build up and come out in a more damaging way or you slowly lose the relationship (you start to avoid the person, etc -- I guess not likely in your case) but that you can keep and improve the relationship by addressing it (in a measured and compassionate way).   Good luck.  [/quote]

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