Reply to New baby on the way; older teen stepdaughter

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[quote=Anonymous]Good luck, OP.  I tried to empathize with my 19 year old stepdaughter, whose dad I started dating when she was 14 and married after she graduated high school, by remembering that I would have been really jealous and threatened by not only a new wide for my dad but also the fear of him having another daughter.  I thought things might be smoother when I found out our baby is a boy.  I tried to include her in shopping, registering, planning a shower, brainstorming names...she shot me down with every attempt.  I hoped when the baby would arrive that she'd at least love him even though she despises me, but she refuses to call him the name we chose, only visits once every few weeks when she wants money, has never held him for more than five minutes, has never changed a diaper or given a bottle, and has never bought him a gift.  We pay for her college and "loan" her lots of money otherwise.  In 14 months, the only interest she shows in her brother is to post pictures of him to Facebook when her mother (who left my DH a decade ago) and she are fighting.  (Her mother expected to remarry and have more kids, but two marriages later, menopause arrived, and she is apparently v bitter, so SD tortured her with photos of my baby when she is mad.)

I share this to say: you're gonna be ok.  She loves you and you love her.  A new baby will be tough for all of you, but you have love among you.  You'll get through.[/quote]

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