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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have the most selfish, passive aggressive, overbearing and difficult MIL on the planet. My DH understands how difficult she is but wants me to grow thick skin and not let her phase me. He insists she has always been the way she is and that she is not changing. For 8 years, I have kept my mouth shut and ignored her acts for attention. I feel like I am at my breaking point but am hanging on because I do not want any drama for DH. MIL is one of those people who is always mad at someone and blames everyone for everything. She takes no ownership and doesn't see that she's the common denominator in most situations.

I've offered to completely remove myself from every situation with MIL. Meaning, I won't attend Christmas, Thanksgiving, won't see her on the weekends, won't talk to her when she calls randomly...all this so that I won't be bothered by her obnoxious acts. DH doesn't want me to do that. Again, he insists that I need to just let her be, move on and kill her with silence. Anyone been here? Words of encouragement, please! [/quote]

Tried it your DH's way for the first 22 years, now trying it MY way.  I cut her off at Christmas last year and haven't dealt with her since.  In my case, though, my DH has repeatedly told her to STFU and that she didn't realize that MY desire for my kids to know their grandparents was the only reason HE was still dealing with her drama.  She didn't believe him...too bad for her now.  She'll be lucky if she ever sees her granddaughters again, because she's no longer welcome in my home and I'm not going to hers (she lives in another state, flight-necessary)  I guarantee you DH isn't going to use his precious vacation time to take the kids by himself to visit.  But really, my kids are now old enough to hear how she treats us (and them to some degree) and realize they don't like a lot of what she says in their presence.  They won't miss her negativity and crappy values (money money money)[/quote]

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