Reply to Why the Constant Fighting with SAHW?

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[quote=Anonymous]I am a SAHM.  My kids are almost all in school, so I think about this a lot.

Forget all that "sending her on vacation" crap.  She is already on vacation.  But don't be dismissive of her contributions to the household and family, either.  Start the conversation with, "I appreciate that you do a lot for all of us, but we are clearly struggling financially right now, and earning more money is essential.  I am not asking you to pay the mortgage, but earning enough to pay for your activities."

She has been out of the workforce for a very long time.  I would be terrified of looking for a job after so many years without any preparation.  So maybe some courses in technology?  Something to make her more marketable?  I would also propose it in terms of "The kids are growing up and will be out of the house before you know it.  For your own sake, you should find something productive to occupy some of those hours."  But don't make the mistake of saying that the teenagers don't need her at home when they are home.  Teenagers need their parents a ton, even though they think they don't - not for their physical needs but to help them navigate very trying emotional times.

If she feels you are disrespecting her, her defenses will be impenetrable.  So try the gentlest approach you can.  Show her your vulnerabilities,too, and let her come up with a solution.[/quote]

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