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Elementary School-Aged Kids
Reply to "Appropriate Punishment for Lying?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Not sure where the last two posters are coming from, but I'm definitely in the camp with those who take this stuff seriously. Our kids are in college, high school and middle school, and we've been through this many times -- fortunately with less frequency as the kids have gotten older, but, yeah, kids do lie to their parents (as we did to our parents). Even knowing that it happens, however, you have to take it seriously. I agree with the poster who said punishment should be more severe for lying than for the underlying (no pun intended) offense. As kids got older, we also used the approach the PP suggested that the consequence for lying was to have us hold back our trust in other areas -- so, for example, if you lie about playing Wii after school, we can't trust you when you say you're going to a friend's house -- you'll need to call us from the friend's home to verify that you are where you said you'd be. Along with punishment, though, there needs to be some discussion (try not to lecture) about how every relationship depends on trust. We have asked our kids to consider what life would be like if they couldn't trust us, their teachers, coaches, and other people in their lives. In the long run, that may have made the biggest impact on them. [/quote] This is basically our approach--lying = we can't trust you, and your life is much better if we can trust you. We have a friend whose son started lying a lot (about little things) and after he'd had this talk a few times, he just started lying to his son (about small things). When his son complained, he pointed out that the family operates a lot better when they could trust each other, and he said you could see the light bulb go off over his head. Not sure that would work for all kids, but it's worth considering. [/quote]
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