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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How do I make sure that he doesn't think it is acceptable to raise our child the way they've raised their daughter if that is the only example he has had?  I was raised to be pretty independent. My parents helped when I asked, but I didn't ask for much and I'd like to raise my child to be independent and not think mommy and daddy will fix all problems. [/quote]

OP this is ridiculous. Isn't your husband able to think? Some of the things my parents did were great. Some of the things they did were awful. I pick and choose what I want to emulate. It's very simple. [/quote]

OP, sometimes adult children grow up with entirely different values and priorities and perspectives than that of their parents.

Example that always comes to mind is fictional Alex P. Keaton and parents Elyse and Stephen on Family Ties.  The humor was how this hippie, crunchy couple ended up with a conservative, Republican, preppy son.  Hilarity ensues.

My DH is a real-life Alex P. Keaton - his parents were wide-eyed, idealistic teen parents who were lax with discipline, generally easy-going and politically and religiously apathetic.  He was raised in a no rules type household.  Guess what?  My in-laws marvel and express surprise that DH is so very centered, conservative, politically active, motivated, disciplined, kind, compassionate and socially astute.  They claim they had nothing to do with how he turned out, but I secretly think he became this way in direct contrast to how he was raised.  He craved structure and rules, so he made and followed his own, etc.  He was interested in religion and politics because his parents weren't, so he researched and formed his own opinions.

In other words, you are kind of being a helicopter spouse by worrying about something that you can't control and that may or may not happen.  YMMV.
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